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Pre‑Death Registration Platform
LAZARUS
Still talking. Just dead.
Train your AI on your voice, your writing, your grievances. Schedule messages to deliver for years — or decades — after you're gone. To the people you love. And the people you don't.
How It Works
Train
Upload voice recordings, emails, text threads, and grievances. We study your rhythm, your vocabulary, your preferred insults. Our AI learns to write and speak as you do — only it will never stop.
Schedule
Build your contact registry. The Good List for people you love; The List for everyone else. Tie messages to birthdays, anniversaries, or random Tuesdays. Load your Grudge Queue. Prepare the Chaos Event.
Haunt
Miss three consecutive check-in pings and Lazarus activates automatically. No paperwork for the grieving. No awkward calls to customer service. Just your voice, arriving on schedule, for years to come.
The Arsenal
Lazarus isn't just a message scheduler. It's a full post-mortem personality engine. Everything you need to remain present — warmly, pointedly, or cryptically.
Choose Your Eternity
One-time, pre-paid. Because where you're going, monthly billing gets complicated.
The Whisper
1 Year
For those with just enough left to say.
- —Up to 52 scheduled messages
- —SMS and email delivery
- —1 personality archetype
- —The Good List only
- —Basic Deadman's Switch
The Voice
3 Years
For those with a longer agenda.
- —Up to 200 scheduled messages
- —SMS, email, and voicemail
- —2 personality archetypes
- —Good List + The List
- —Grudge Queue (10 slots)
- —Birthday & anniversary triggers
The Haunting
10 Years
A decade of deliberate presence.
- —Unlimited scheduled messages
- —SMS, email, voicemail & social
- —All personality archetypes
- —Good List + The List
- —Full Grudge Queue (50 slots)
- —The Chaos Event (1 included)
- —Annual message refresh
Eternal
20 Years
For those who refuse to be forgotten.
- —Everything in The Haunting
- —20 years of coverage
- —3 Chaos Events included
- —Beyond Eternal renewal option
- —Estate executor dashboard
- —Priority support for your estate
Renewable annually at $299/yr. For those with truly unfinished business.
Enquire →All pre-paid funds held in a regulated trust account via a licensed financial partner. Governed under pre-need service contract law. About as binding as death itself.
From the Beyond
All testimonials submitted before death, or dictated through the platform thereafter.
My uncle won't stop texting me about the garage. He's been dead for two years. Five stars.
I set up a Chaos Event for my former business partner. He has absolutely no idea it's coming. Worth every penny.
Finally, a subscription worth keeping forever. Because what is my estate going to do — cancel it?
I scheduled a voicemail to remind my son to water my plants. On the third anniversary. At 3am. He deserved it.
“The afterlife has a mailing list. You should be on it.”
Questions from
the Living
Can Lazarus send a message to my nemesis?+
Yes. This is, in fact, one of our most popular use cases. Place nemeses on The List and enable Ghost Mode for maximum effect. The Grudge Queue holds up to 50 individual grievances, delivered as rotating vague references across the full duration of your plan. Your enemies will not know where it's coming from. They will have a feeling.
What if I accidentally outlive my plan?+
A valid concern. You can upgrade at any point before activation — we've had clients do it twice. The Beyond Eternal add-on extends coverage annually at $299/yr, indefinitely. We've never had a complaint from someone who outlived their Beyond Eternal plan. We've never heard from them again at all, actually.
Is this legal?+
Pre-need service contracts are regulated in most U.S. states under the same frameworks as pre-need funeral trusts. All pre-paid funds are held in a regulated trust account via a licensed financial partner. So yes — about as legal as anything involving death and money can be. Which is very legal.
How does the Deadman's Switch work?+
Each month, Lazarus sends a brief check-in notification. One tap confirms you're still alive. Miss three consecutive check-ins, and the platform activates automatically. This removes the burden from grieving family members to locate and notify a tech company on the worst week of their lives. We handle it. That's the whole point.
Will my family know I signed up?+
Only if you choose to tell them. Lazarus operates quietly by default. You may designate an Estate Executor who receives admin-level access upon activation — useful for flagging delivery issues or confirming the platform is running correctly. They cannot edit your content. Your words are your words.
Can recipients opt out?+
Individual recipients can opt out of future messages from your account. The platform itself cannot be deactivated by a third party without a valid legal order. Your pre-paid contract is enforceable. You scheduled these messages. They're yours. The living do not get a vote.
What happens to my phone number and email address?+
At signup, you port your number into a Lazarus-managed carrier account via our MVNO relationship. Your phone continues to work normally for as long as you're alive. Your email migrates to Lazarus-hosted infrastructure — same address, identical experience for everyone who receives it. At activation, outbound communications resume under AI management. Nothing changes for the people receiving them.
Can I update my messages after signing up?+
Yes. Add, edit, or schedule new content at any time before activation. We recommend an annual review — people change, grudges evolve, new enemies emerge. Your Lazarus account should reflect the current you, not the you from three years ago who was maybe slightly less angry.
Still have questions? We'll answer them.
While you can still ask them.